an ugly shoe advocate comes clean
Crocs opened the floodgates and this is me now
They look like they’d never get into a downtown restaurant. They look like they teach early childhood development in Copenhagen. They’re orthopedic in spirit, nostalgic in silhouette, and if you squint…..downright editorial.
Yes, I’m talking about Mary-Jane sneakers. The shoe that is so conceptually wrong that it actually looks so right. At some point, I became the kind of person who defends Mary Jane sneakers. This wasn’t in the life plan. I was lucky enough to score an aftermarket pair of the ASICS x Cecilie Bahnsen collab sneakers and I regret nothing. They’re comfortable, vaguely ironic, and work with literally everything I throw at them. And not that it matters but I have gotten so. many. compliments.
I blame 2020 for so many of my falls from grace….at some point that year, I decided to buy what was then the ugliest shoe brand of all time. You guessed it…..I bought a pair of Crocs. And not just any ole’ Crocs….yet another collab pair! These were a yellow floral number from the Crocs x Vera Bradley (!!!) collection. Spoiler: I didn’t take them off for 3 years. And now, here we are. It seems I can’t get enough of ‘wrong shoe theory’ a la Allison Bornstein.
Because when you stop caring whether your shoes are pretty, you start dressing better.
Somehow, the Mary-Jane sneaker unlocked the cool-girl paradox: the more you lean into the awkwardness, the more elevated you look. Be the art teacher you wish you had in 7th grade. (Farmer’s market tote not included.)
These shoes are too perfect for summer and I feel so passionately about them that I’ve rounded up a personal list of faves so you don’t have to spend the long weekend doom-shopping. Enjoy!
Steve Madden metallic Scooter sneakers
Simone Rocha Tracker leather trimmed Mary Jane flats
Coach CAS97 Mary Jane sneakers
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-xoxo Jenn
Omg the “you look like you teach early childhood development in Copenhagen” I DIED 😂😂 also I haaate that I like those Steve Madden ones LOL